Mailing List Madness
by Dragonsdaughter
Summary: As a joke Kenshin and Kaoru were entered into a Blind Date Email contest by a few wellmeaning friends. They have two weeks to find out everything they can about one another. Is this chance... or a cosmic conspiracy?
1. You've Got Mail!

_**Mailing List Madness!**_

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-fiction 

By the Dragon's Daughter

**Chapter One**: You've Got Mail!

To: AmBerHitokiri

From: Tanukitty

Subject: Opening Volley

Just so you know, I was rail-roaded into this stupid game. I have neither intention nor desire to find 'my perfect mate' or whatever the tag line for this _faux pas_ was. An irritating, if well-meaning friend signed me up without my consent.

Just so you know.

If you want to request another match, go right ahead.

-Kaoru

To: Tanukitty

From: AmBerHitokiri

Subject: Return Fire

Dear Kaoru,

I find that fascinating… and familiar.

Friends with good intent and unfortunate resources seem to abound these days, or in my situation: employers with something vaguely resembling paternal instincts and a sick sense of humor. Be that as it may, I'm still up for a good game. Call it a personal failing, but I can't resist a challenge.

So let's play.

By the way, my name is Kenshin.

To: AmBerHitokiri

From: Tanukitty

Subject: Cocky, Aren't we?

I'll consider the gauntlet thrown then. All right. Two can play that game.

The logical point at which to start it 'getting to know you' however considering the rules state that no personal information can be directly given I'll have to hint. Hmmm… how to start?

It's very unfair of you to put the ball in my court. Men should be more courteous. I'll let it slide this time in the light of feminine superiority. After all, if you want something done right…

We'll start with occupations.

You could say I'm still in training, but I work more or less under my own supervision. I mold young minds or rather, attempt to stop them from growing mold. I'm not sure from day to day. I work in the high school system, if that wasn't a dead giveaway.

-K

To: Tanukitty

From: AmBerHitokiri

Subject: You have NO idea…

That's fascinating.

I'm guessing a teacher… no, you said 'in training'; a student teacher then, perhaps just shy of completing her time? It's nearing the end of the school year so I assume you'll either be returning to grad school in the fall or job-hunting for next year?

My career is more difficult to pin down. Let's just say I'm a general contractor. I track things down and send them back where they belong. For _good_. I have done some work in the High school system, but it's not my favorite arena. I rarely get to see teenagers at their… ah… _best_. I imagine you get to see their better halves.

Not to change the subject, but I must know: how long is your hair?

Do you wear it short or long? Does it curl or lay straight? I've never considered myself picky when it comes to hair color. I just like to feel it between my fingers when I kiss a woman.

-K

P.S. Here's a guess, but you speak like a woman who wears her hair long and tied back; you have an innate femininity, but there's a practical streak in you that likes to dominate. That's all right though.

I _like_ dominant women.

To: AmBerHitokiri

From: Tanukitty

Subject: Make this Kitty Purrrrrr

Could you _BE_ more vague?

My hair: is short, blonde, and kind of curly. There's plenty for you to dig you fingers into, but what I want to know is what YOU look like? Are you tall? Fit? I like a man with muscles, but not to the point where it's gross. **_EWW_**…

Actually, let's cut to the chase. Tell me about your fantasies.

Waiting…

_Kaoru_

To: Tanukitty

From: AmBerHitokiri

Subject: Nice try

I don't know who you are, but I am not stupid.

-Kenshin

To: BattousaiLead

From: TanukiSensei

Subject: Weasels are now officially an endangered species…

Remember that irritating, if well-meaning friend I mentioned?

Yes, well she managed to get into my in-box. Sorry about that. Thankfully the administrators were kind enough to send me your alternate address. I noticed it's a government account. You must be pretty good at what you do if it merited space on the national servers.

My hair is long and straight. I wear it in a ponytail. It's black. There isn't really much to say. To tell the truth, I don't think much about my hair. I have too many friends who do it for me. They also think enough about my clothing, make-up, underwear, and sex-life that I see no reason to be underfoot. However, The Terror Weasel brought up a good point. How tall are you?

I'm rather short myself, just 5'6". However it's frustrating to try and talk to someone who has to keep looking down at you. I'm pretty sure we'll never meet. The administrators warned us it was going to be a crapshoot location-wise. Still… just chalk this one up to curiosity.

-Kaoru

P.S. You strike me as the one who is more likely to dominate in a couple, although I do have my moments… when properly motivated.

To: TanukiSensei

From: BattousaiLead

Subject: She reminds me of someone I know, oddly enough

I am _very_ good at what I do.

However, tall I am not. It's rather embarrassing in my line of work, but I'm only 5'7". My co-workers are trained to ignore it, but usually I'm out of the offices. I'm something of a mobile professional. I go where the work is. Perhaps I may pass through your area? Time enough to take you out to dinner, maybe have a few drinks, and talk in person for a change?

I now know what your friend likes in a man, but I want to know what _you're_ looking for.

-Kenshin

P.S. Tell me what it takes to motivate you. Detail is always encouraged.

To: BattousaiLead

From: TanukiSensei 

Subject: Oh, really now?

I'm less choosy than my friend (who is neither blonde nor has curly hair) in some ways and more so in others. As the Weasel would say, I value mind-sex over all. I've been with handsome men before. Oh, how did MC Paul Barnum put it? "Men who are too beautiful are too dutiful to their cuticles, plus it's like conversation with a carpeted cubicle." This is not to say that I totally value substance over style. Call me shallow, but appearance does factor in just a bit.

All right, I've told you I'm not attracted to tall men. Aside from conversational abilities, I like a man who remembers how to dream. It's silly, but a man with no higher purpose just seems lost and alone. I have enough trouble finding my own truths. Honesty is always appreciated, but I'm not a fanatic. I realize the truth isn't always convenient, just don't abuse my trust.

-K

P.S. Yes, I know you were asking about physical features. I'll save that for another e-mail.

P.P.S. As for motivating me… well, you'll just have to find out now won't you?

To: TanukiSensei

From: BattousaiLead

Subject: I understand.

I don't think you understand how much I do…

Mind-sex is important. However, I am pleased to see that in my own humble opinion I qualify for just about everything you've mentions. I am not too tall or too proud of my face (although I am accredited as fairly good looking). My conversational abilities will have to speak for themselves. I am truthful when at all possible and as for my higher purpose… well, I am fortunate in that I can fulfill that every moment of everyday.

You don't need to fear that I will abuse your trust. When something is given into my keeping then I take _very_ good care of it.

-Kenshin

P.S. In case you were wondering, I have red hair that is long enough to pull back into a tail. My eyes are an odd sort of blue-violet. I have no idea where they came from. My father's eyes were green and my mother had brown. My build is slight, but I do credit myself with some modest muscle, enough for my purposes.

P.P.S. I will _indeed_ have to find out.

To: BattousaiLead

From: TanukiSensei 

Subject: Sounds like you have a wee bit o'Irish in you…

They do say that Irish men have a wild side.

Tell me, Kenshin. _Do_ you have a wild side?

-Kaoru

To: TanukiSensei

From: BattousaiLead

Subject: To quote a weasel: Let's cut to the chase

Kitten, you have no idea.

If you're interested to see how wild I can get, then I set up an instant messenger account under my other email address. It's with AOL, but hey? They're free.

My screen name is: Battousai .

-Kenshin

To: BattousaiLead

From: TanukiSensei

Subject: Moving fast, aren't we?

Hell, I see you bet and raise you one. If you have a head-set then I know an on-line service that let's you make calls through your cable modem. Here is the link.

If not, then my screen name is: Komachi .

-Kaoru

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End Chapter One: You've Got Mail!

----

Coming up next… 

**Chapter Two**: Instant Connection

**Battousai**: Oh my, a republican!

**Komachi**: No. I'm a knee-jerk liberal.

**Battousai**: Oh good, for a moment there I was afraid that I'd be forced to seduce you over to the side of Democracy. Can I settle for just seducing you?

----

_Seiyuu: No, I don't know where the hell this came from either. It's something I work on when straight prose starts to annoy me. It's pure WAFF with a citrus scent here and there. No higher thought required! Let me know how you like it!_


	2. Instant Connection

_**Mailing List Madness!**_

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-fiction 

By the Dragon's Daughter

**Chapter Two**: Instant Connection

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**Battousai**: has entered the Chatroom at 23:41:32 10/26/2005

**Komachi**: has entered the Chatroom at 23:41:34 10/26/2005

---

**Komachi**: I can't believe you're still using dial-up. When were you born? The 1800's?

**Battousai**: Before that.

**Komachi**: Ha-hah. You're funny.

**Battousai**: I try.

**Komachi**: Technology is your friend, Kenshin.

**Battousai**: With friends like that, who needs enemies?

**Komachi**: I don't follow.

**Battousai**: Let's just say technology and I don't get along well. Especially when it's important. I'm lucky enough that I can use a computer without it crashing every five minutes.

**Komachi**: It can't be that bad.

**Battousai**: The Luddites were onto something, I tell you.

**Komachi**: We'll find you some looms to smash.

**Battousai**: Now who's being funny?

**Komachi**: I can't imagine what you're talking about. I am never funny. I'm a teacher. It's the law. In fact, I think there's a commandment: 'Thou shalt not have a sense of humor should ye choose a Career in Education.' See, I'm right. The bible says so.

**Battousai**: Oh my, a republican!

**Komachi**: No. I'm a knee-jerk liberal.

**Battousai**: Oh good, for a moment there I was afraid that I'd be forced to seduce you over to the Democrats. Can I settle for just seducing you?

**Komachi**: Over the IM? If you can, then I'll be impressed. I'm a hands-on kind of girl.

**Battousai**: Oh, really? Do tell…

**Komachi**: I'd love to, however may I indicate the time?

**Battousai**: My, it is getting late. Student teachers have early mornings. Such a pity… well, until tomorrow.

**Komachi**: Goodnight.

**Battousai**: Sweet dreams… Kaoru.

---

**Komachi**: has left the Chatroom at 01:01:34 10/27/2005

---

**Battousai**: I think I'm going to enjoy this one.

---

**Battousai**: has left the Chatroom at 01:05:32 10/27/2005

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**Battousai**: has entered the Chatroom at 19:20:32 10/27/2005

**Komachi**: has entered the Chatroom at 19:25:02 10/27/2005

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**Komachi**: I'm sorry, were you waiting long?

**Battousai**: Only a few minutes. I read a chapter of a book. How was your day?

**Komachi**: Long. Excruciating. Mind-numbing. Remind me why I thought teaching was the profession for me?

**Battousai**: Shaping the future? Molding young malleable minds into something vaguely resembling sentient beings? Three months off during summer break?

**Komachi**: Now I remember. It was that last one, but they do make you work for it.

**Battousai**: Anything rewarding will demand much in return. Is there anything I can do?

**Komachi**: Not unless you can administer long-distance psychic shoulder massages.

**Battousai**: Sadly, while I am a very talented masseuse, I am not that talented.

**Komachi**: Darn the luck.

**Battousai**: So, I believe we left the last conversation on a question. A question you answered with 'I'd love to'. Let's go back to that. I was looking forward to it.

**Komachi**: Were you now? I thought you said you were reading.

**Battousai**: I didn't tell you what I was reading.

**Komachi**: All right, seduce me then.

**Battousai**: Can I read that as free license?

**Komachi**: Kenshin…

**Battousai**: So, what are you wearing?

**Komachi**: I thought this was a seduction, not a dirty prank call.

**Battousai**: I can do that too, but just humor me. Tell me what you're wearing, where you are, what is around you, and what you are doing. I need scenery.

**Komachi**: Scenery?

**Battousai**: Humor me?

**Komachi**: All right, but you don't have much to work with. I am clearly in my study surrounded by 700+ books and a small mountain of crumpled paper balls. I am in front of my roll-top desk with the lights dimmed. I have my glasses on and my hair is in a loose bun. I have black baby-tee on that says 'Shroedinger's Cat is Dead' and a pair of shorts left over from junior high gym class. If it helps, they're blue and are almost panties.

**Battousai**: Are you wearing anything underneath?

**Komachi**: No.

**Battousai**: Oh, really?

**Komachi**: Really. It's 7 o'clock at night. Don't tell me you're still dressed for work?

**Battousai**: Ah, so you want to know what I'm wearing too?

**Komachi**: I didn't say that.

**Battousai**: Well?

**Komachi**: … are you?

**Battousai**: I, my dear, am wearing a t-shirt my shishou gave me when I was thirteen when we visited the Hardrock Café in San Antonio. It's white and worn so thin you can practically see through it. There are a few holes in the chest area. Other than that, I have of a pair of blue jeans. Wranglers. I wear them tight, but the knees are busted out. And no, I'm not wearing underwear.

**Komachi**: Do you usually?

**Battousai**: It depends on my mood. Do you?

**Komachi**: Well, a bra yes and usually panties. On the weekends though…

**Battousai**: I see!

**Komachi**: If this is your idea of a seduction then maybe you should get a book.

**Battousai**: Oh, I'm still in the research phase. I believe it is impossible to please a woman without sufficient data. Trust me kitten. I haven't even started.

**Komachi**: Is there anything else you want to know?

**Battousai**: My curiosity knows no bounds, but I suppose I should leave myself a few surprises. First, I'd like for you to take off your glasses.

**Komachi**: That would be problematic, as I need them to see the screen.

**Battousai**: You can put them back on in a moment, but I want you to gently brush the earpiece down the column of your throat. If you hit a sensitive spot then linger there for as long as it takes your heart to beat twice. Trace a circle around those spots, but do it very slow. Then I want you to trace the outline of your collarbones. Then you may put your glasses back on.

**Komachi**: allrihgt

**Battousai**: My, my… that wasn't as neat as usual. Are you feeling a little flushed Kaoru? Did you like that? Do you know why I asked you to use your glasses?

**Komachi**: No. I'll assume they were convenient.

**Battousai**: No, they were just a stand in for my lips. I want you to close your eyes and imagine the warmth of my breath caressing your throat in the same pattern you just traced with your glassed. The skin is still tingling there, isn't it? Imagine my lips barely brushing your skin so close you can feel the heat from my mouth. Can you hear how uneven my breath is? It's because you're so beautiful that I can hardly stand it.

**Komachi**: Have you done this before?

**Battousai**: Yes, but never over the Internet. Usually I get to involve all five senses in my seductions. Sadly, this is all that's available to me… unless you'd like to give me your phone number?

**Komachi**: That is against the rules, Kenshin. If we're going to play this game, then we're going to play it right. If you really want to hear my voice then you're going to have to get a cable modem.

**Battousai**: I actually have one on order, but the service won't be installed until tomorrow. Frankly, I'm having trouble waiting that long. I want to be able to hear you gasp when I talk dirty to you. I want to hear every tremble, every moan, and every intake of breath. This is very difficult I'll have you know.

**Komachi**: I don't know. You seem to be doing very well.

**Battousai**: Am I now? Tell me how well I've done.

**Komachi**: I'm trembling. The way you described what you wanted to do to me… it made me shake. I can still feel the pattern on my throat and shoulder. It's like a current running under my skin. I wonder what it would be like if you really touched me?

**Battousai**: If I really touched you, then I think we would both be lost. For example, I think I would be addicted to your thighs. I noticed you identified yourself as 'sensei' in your email. The martial arts make a woman lean, toned, and firm. You haven't mentioned anything about it, so I assume you're rather good. I imagine you lying on my bed, pale against my wine colored sheets with our raven-dark hair spread around you face. I like to think of those toned thighs caressing my sides. I'm on my hands and knees hovering over you.

**Komachi**: I'd be biting my lower lip. I do that when I'm nervous, but I think I would reach up to cup your cheeks and explore the lines of your shoulders. I warn you your stomach'll fascinate me, especially if you have a six-pack. I'll have to trace it with my tongue.

**Battousai**: Hmm, I would like that a great deal. In fact I like hearing you talk about it. Tell me, Kaoru. What else would you want to do to me?

**Komachi**: There is a lot I like to do in bed. For one, I like to be on top every now an then although usually I prefer to feel my man's weight over me. In me. When I'm running the show, I do like for my lovers to be able to receive. It's hard to find someone who can be both dominant and submissive when the situation calls for it. I'm not into the kinky stuff, but I do like to see a man look up at me and want it every once and a while.

**Battousai**: Kitten, you have no idea how much I want you right now.

**Komachi**: So tell me, what would you do if you had me? Say I showed up in your doorway in two seconds. What would you do?

**Battousai**: I'm afraid, Kitten, that I would have to keep you for a few days and if you could still walk after that then I would have to let you go for a little while. Until the next time of course, but to answer your question… you've left me with a very pressing problem. I'm afraid that if I could see you, feel you, smell your scent… well. I would have to take you right then and there. Afterwards we'd retire to my bedroom for a more leisurely bout of lovemaking, but the first round would be hard, fast, and needy. I'd feel the need to make you scream for me.

**Komachi**: That is a very… stimulating mental image. I'll have to take that to bed with me. It's getting late.

**Battousai**: True and you have work tomorrow as well. All right, kitten. Off to bed with you. Sweet dreams.

**Komachi**: You too, Kenshin. Good night.

**Battousai**: I'll dream very well tonight. I'll dream of you.

---

**Komachi**: has left the Chatroom at 02:01:13 10/28/2005

**Battousai**: has left the Chatroom at 02:02:32 10/28/2005

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**Battousai**: has entered the Chatroom at 20:20:32 10/28/2005

**Komachi**: has entered the Chatroom at 20:21:02 10/28/2005

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**Battousai**: I have been foiled once more.

**Komachi**: How so?

**Battousai**: I recall telling you that technology is in fact not my friend.

**Komachi**: I take it you're having difficulties with your new high speed?

**Battousai**: It worked when the service tech was here and for about an hour after that. I've been told it works by a friend, but when I try to log on nothing happens. I'm using my dial-up now. The computer says it is connected, but…

**Komachi**: Kenshin, with DSL you don't have to log on.

**Battousai**: Pardon?

**Komachi**: Look, follow these instructions. Switch your DSL back on. Do you know how to do that?

**Battousai**: Yes…

**Komachi**: Then once the pretty lights on your cable modem are ALL lit up then go to your browser icon on the desktop and double click.

**Battousai**: All right, but I'm not sure this will work.

**Komachi**: Trust me.

---

**Battousai**: has left the Chatroom at 20:35:07 10/28/2005

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**Battousai**: has entered the Chatroom at 20:40:32 10/28/2005

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**Battousai**: I humbly bow to the Queen.

**Komachi**: As well you should.

**Battousai**: For future reference, how to I log off the Internet?

**Komachi**: You don't.

**Battousai**: Come again?

**Komachi**: DSL is a continuous stream to and from the Internet. When you aren't using your computer then turn it off. Otherwise, make sure you have a firewall in place before too long. Hackers, you know.

**Battousai**: Dear god, what have I gotten myself into?

**Komachi**: Welcome to the new Millennium, old man.

**Battousai**: 34 is not old.

**Komachi**: You, sir, get NO points for subtlety. I'm 23.

**Battousai**: A mere child!

**Komachi**: My, my. I had no idea you were so old! So how is life over there at the nursing home?

**Battousai**: Oh, it's wonderful. I have a bed with remote control, cute nurses, and all the Jerry Springer I could want. They tape it special for me. I should ask how day care is going.

**Komachi**: Quite well, I'm learning all my colors even! They have blocks.

**Battousai**: Oh, now I'm jealous.

**Komachi**: That's right, I get a sandbox and you get drooling old women trying to chant 'Jerry! Jerry!' without putting their teeth back in.

**Battousai**: Now there is one mental image I could have gone my whole life without. I think you're going to have to make it up to me.

**Komachi**: Oh, really? How would I do that?

**Battousai**: Well, for starters…

**---**

**SimplyFaboo**: has entered the Chatroom at 22:40:32 10/28/2005

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**Komachi**: Misao, you have three seconds to make like you never found this chat room.

**SimplyFaboo**: You're here too, Kaoru? I just did a search on Himura's screen name. Kenshin?

**Battousai**: I believe I am seconding Kaoru's threat, Makimachi

**Komachi**: Wait, you two know each other?

**Battousai**: For my sins, yes. You know her?

**Komachi**: I've known Misao since I was four.

**SimplyFaboo**: Um, I hate to interrupt, but why did you turn your phone off, Kenshin? Aoshi has been trying to call you.

**Battousai**: Is it critical?

**SimplyFaboo**: Well, no, but…

**Battousai**: Then you don't need me.

**SimplyFaboo**: Hey now, there's no need to be rude!

---

**SimplyFaboo**: has been banned from the Chatroom at 22:47:12 10/28/2005

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**Komachi**: Well, that was awkward.

**Battousai**: So, you live in Chicago too?

**Komachi**: Well, a mile or so out. Kind of in the suburbanite jungle. High schools, you know?

**Battousai**: Give me an address. I can be there in half an hour.

**Komachi**: I don't know…

**Battousai**: It's only ten. I'm sure we can find a restaurant still open. We can get coffee and talk face to face for once?

**Komachi**: You said the 'C' word.

**Battousai**: I did? Oh, you mean coffee. Yes, I did. Is coffee bad? We could get something else…

**Komachi**: No, coffee is good. My address is 304 Main Coone Dr. It's the little bungalow with the ugly pink paint and the green trim. My landlord picked it out. I think it was on sale.

**Battousai**: YOU live there?

**Komachi**: I'm sensing a cosmic sized conspiracy.

**Battousai**: Funny, I was thinking the same. You know the weasel works for my foster father. Ye gods, the idea of Shishou and Misao working in cooperation... The world may be doomed.

**Battousai**: I'm on my way.

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**Komachi**: has left the Chatroom at 22:01:13 10/28/2005

**Battousai**: has left the Chatroom at 22:02:32 10/28/2005

---

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End Chapter One: You've Got Mail!

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Coming up next… 

**Chapter Three**: Blog Dreams

2:30 PM October 30th, 2005

I seem to have a new Boyfriend 

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Kamiya Kaoru has been brought down at last. I was the last bachelorette in the group once Rooster popped the Question to Fox and Weasel wrestled the Ice Cube into the JP.

I'm not sure what Kenshin counts as, but he seems to be here for the long run. (I say as he stands in my kitchen making lunch and trying to read over my shoulder.) …

----

_Seiyuu: I don't know why I keep giving Kenshin such blaring weaknesses. I guess he's just such an awesome character in general that it's hard to write him without him turning into the male variant of a Mary-sue. (What would that be? Mack-jim? Bobby-jo? Goku?) I guess I just like to see him fallible every now and then. I try to keep his ability-set to canon, so I feel I can get away with making him semi-computer illiterate. After all, Kaoru can't cook. This way they make a little bit of a cooler couple by compensating for each other's weaknesses. _

**Lud·dite**  
_n._

Any of a group of British workers who between 1811 and 1816 rioted and destroyed laborsaving textile machinery in the belief that such machinery would diminish employment. One who opposes technical or technological change. 

Named after Ned Ludd, an English laborer who was supposed to have destroyed weaving machinery around 1779.


	3. Blog Dreams

_**Mailing List Madness!**_

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-fiction 

By the Dragon's Daughter

**Chapter Three**: Blog Dreams

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An excerpt from the 'Kenjutsu Komachi', the On-line Journal of Kaoru Kamiya

2:30 PM October 30th, 2005

I seem to have a new Boyfriend

There you have it ladies and gentlemen. Kamiya Kaoru has been brought down at last. I was the last bachelorette in the group once Rooster popped the Question to Fox and Weasel wrestled the Ice Cube into the JP.

I'm not sure what Kenshin counts as, but he seems to be here for the long run. (I say as he stands in my kitchen making lunch and trying to read over my shoulder.) When Misao signed me up for that stupid game, I didn't expect anything like this. (Kenshin would like to note that this was either a one in a million chance or a gargantuan conspiracy so not to try this at home kids.) I mean, I liked being single, but at the same time I felt like something was missing.

Yesterday was… well, fantastic/terrifying/sweet/too many words to fit into one sentence. Kenshin came over just like he said although we ended up not going out for coffee. He stopped by on his way over and brought four different flavor lattes. He didn't even change out of those jeans and that t-shirt he wears at home. (He **does** wear his jeans tight!) In the short time that we've actually been face to face… well, it's not like we just met. We've been talking for almost a week now and there have been shorter… Anyway. Yes. We had sex. It was very good sex. It happened again this morning when I woke up –er, was _woken_ up, I should say.

I'm off today and Kenshin wants to spend the day together. He said something about introducing me to his co-workers 'just to test a theory.' I really hope he doesn't mean what I suspect he does. Otherwise I might have to drive home and get my bokken for an impromptu ass-kicking.

In fact, the more I think about it the more I feel that I should just stash it in my trunk so it'll be handy.

Current Mood: Sore, but Content

Current Music: 'La Belle Dame Sans Regret' by Sting

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An excerpt from 'For Your Eyes Only', the On-line Journal of Kenshin Himura

2:00 AM October 31st, 2005

You're So Beautiful When You're Sleeping in My Arms…

All right, Kaoru. You win. I'll write in this, but I'm locking it so that only you can see.

You're asleep in my bed as I write this. I'm sitting in the big armchair by the window admiring the way your pale legs look in the moonlight when they're tangled in my bedclothes. You look just the way I pictured you would. I want to wake you up and make love to you again, but you look so peaceful that I can't seem to do it. So I sit here and watch you instead.

I don't want to leave tomorrow, but this is an important trip. I wish I could tell you more, but this isn't something I can talk about. I'd hoped to have more time together than just these few days, but I've been promised some leave for when I return. Until then we'll have to make due with the mediums that got us started. It might be even worse this time. Now I know what your sweat-slicked skin tasted like and how it feels to have you hold onto me as if you never wanted to let go.

At least I know my associates will be here to keep an eye on you in my absence. Now don't make that face. I know you're a liberated woman, but allow me my… what was it you said? Oh yes. Please allow me my 'antiquated caveman complex'. If something happened to you… we've only just begun this. I don't want to see anything jeopardize it so early on. Just humor me?

I'm leaving you the keys to my apartment and my car, just in case. You know how I feel about that rattletrap you're driving. If age and infirmity should finally catch up to it then drive my BMW. I know better than to tell you this to your face. I'd end up finding the keys in my pocket on the airplane. I'll leave you a message giving the location later.

Now, I think you need some company in that bed.

Current Mood: Possessive

Current Music: 'Right Here, Right Now' by Jesus Jones

---

An excerpt from 'Kenjutsu Komachi', the On-line Journal of Kaoru Kamiya

_Private-locked Entry_

2:30 PM November 2nd, 2005

He's Gone…

Sneaky bastard managed to leave me his car keys, the spare keys to his apartment, and his cell phone. I can understand the first two, but wouldn't he _need_ the cell phone. It would make more sense if I knew where he was going. Oh, I'm being _paranoid_. He probably has a company cell-phone or something.

Weasel is ecstatic that I have a cell phone. She doesn't seem to understand that it is not mine and she can't be calling me every other minute. He won't take money for the cell phone bill even if I tried. buurrr I still remember the look on his face when I tried to broach the subject. That man can be _so_ stubborn, unlike me. I am _always_ reasonable.

Well, maybe it won't be so bad. The neighbors have been bickering again. I think I'm going to camp out at Kenshin's for a little while until they get around to making up again. His neighborhood is so much quieter than mine and he's closer to work. My car will be happier for having to work less. It's starting to make some distressing noises. I need to take it over to Sano and see if there's anything he can do. Hopefully it's just something loose under the hood or something.

I really wish I knew where Kenshin was. head desk God, I've barely known the man for a little over three weeks if you count when we started trading e-mails. There is no reason why I should be this attached so soon. It's just… it's just that he's so… he's perfect. He's intelligent, he's funny, we have friends in common, he listens to me and we have great conversations. I'll admit he's amazing in bed. I guess I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Part of me wants to think that these 'business trips' are that shoe.

With my luck he'd end up working for the mob or something.

Dear God, I'm making this a private entry.

Current Mood: Lonely

Current Music: 'Rain' by The Seatbelts and Yoko Kanno

---

An excerpt from 'For Your Eyes Only', the On-line Journal of Kenshin Himura

2:30 AM November 5th, 2005

I miss the way you make my world sane

This job may be harder that I expected it to be.

I thought about you the other day while I was at my desk. It just occurred to me as I sorted through a monstrous pile of paperwork and red tape that I could have been home at that very second listening to you talk to me about your day. I nearly walked out of the office right then and there. The only thing that kept me there was the thought of what you would have said to me when I told you that I'd abandoned my responsibilities.

You have no idea how much I wish you were here with me now. It's not just that I want to hold you so badly that it hurts. There is that too. I wish you were here so that I could talk to you about everything that is going on. There is something that just isn't right about this whole situation and I feel like the answer is lingering just out of reach. All the information is here, but I can't seem to put it together. It's driving me insane.

See? I already feel like I'm functioning at half-strength without you. When did I start relying on you so?

Perhaps I just need sleep. Goodnight, Kaoru. I'll be thinking of you.

Current Mood: exhausted

Current Music: 'In The Shadows' by The Rasmus

Comment from User KenjutsuKomachi on 11:45AM 11/5/2005

Sleep will probably help some, but it sounds to me like you're thinking too hard on it Kenshin. Stress blocks off the subconscious mind. Sleep first. Then go out and get some breakfast and a newspaper. Don't think about it until you have to go back to the office. Seriously, Kenshin, you've worn yourself out. Take a break. I promise. It will help.

Reply from User MeijiBattMan on 3:00 PM 11/5/2005

You brilliant beautiful woman! If I could reach you I'd kiss you! When I get home we're going out for a night on the town. Dinner, dancing, the works. It worked like a charm. I'm off!

---

An excerpt from 'Kenjutsu Komachi', the On-line Journal of Kaoru Kamiya

8:10 PM November 7th, 2005

RIP My Little Buick

Kenshin is going to be so smug when he gets home. The Buick died _on the way_ to Sano's garage. I swear I wanted to stab it through the carburetor. I've been driving Kenshin's BMW since then. It's absolutely disgusting. The thing has a smoother ride, better gas mileage, and better seat than any car I could ever afford. It's _depressing _is what it is. Hat man is going to have such a laugh at my expense and I wish I cared. If he's close enough to laugh in my face then he's close enough to kiss.

The neighbors still haven't quieted down. Last night Mr. Sanchez started breaking windows. When the super finally got the cops to come I packed up and went straight over to Kenshin's. I haven't slept in my own bed since before he left.

I've been DOMESTICATED!

Current Mood: annoyed

Current Music: 'Someone Keeps Moving My Chair' by They Might be Giants

Reply from User MeijiBattMan on 10:00 PM 11/7/2005

I told you so. I'm looking forward to collecting that kiss though. Go ahead and drive my car. It will keep the tires conditioned and the gas tank from condensing. The idea of you sleeping in my bed appeals to me. I rather like the idea of going to sleep at night and being able to picture exactly where you are.

---

An excerpt from 'For Your Eyes Only', the On-line Journal of Kenshin Himura

2:35 PM November 8th, 2005

I am finally done!

I'm done. There isn't anything left here for me to do than someone else can't do better. I've been sent home. I'll email you with my flight information once I've got it, but I want to see you as soon as I arrive home. Meet me at the airport? Wear a dress, we'll go out as soon as I return. Jet lag be damned. I owe you a night on the town!

God, I've missed you.

Current Mood: exhilarated

Current Music: 'Das Liebeslied' by Annett Louisan

Comment from User KenjutsuKomachi on 11:45AM 11/9/2005

I got your email. I'll be there with bells on!

I've missed you too.

---

An excerpt from 'Kenjutsu Komachi', the On-line Journal of Kaoru Kamiya

_Private-Locked Entry_

12:10 PM November 11th, 2005

Something's Off Here

Kenshin came home last night.

It disturbs me how 'home' seems to involve me and him in that little downtown apartment rather than my duplex on the eastside. Even more frightening is the fact that he thinks that way too. When he left for work this morning he kissed me and told him he'd see me when he got home. It wasn't a pointed comment, more absent, like he hadn't thought too hard before he spoke.

Am I considering moving in with him? Is he even going to ask or is it happening anyway?

Anyway, he was tired when he arrived. The silly stubborn fool still insisted on taking me out. We had dinner in that nice little Italian place and went to a salsa club afterwards. He was so tired that when we got home he fell asleep in his coat on top of the blankets! He didn't even wake up when I undressed him and tucked him in. It was amazing, the man actually slept in until ten this morning! I've never seen Kenshin wake up any later that seven. He has to go present a report of his trip at the office, but after that he's got two weeks of vacation. All I have to say is Thank God for winter break. He's got another set of accumulated vacation time coming in December. I want to know what he's been doing if he's got four to five weeks of vacation just sitting there gathering dust.

Also, the gifts he brought back for me… I'm flattered and all, don't get me wrong. It's just that… well there's a pound of Dallmayr's Prodomo coffee and it's not the kind you order over the Internet. The packaging is all in German. There was also a tin of champagne truffles from the same store. So it's not like he ordered it or something. There is even half of an old price sticker on it with the cost listed in euros. I don't think _gets_ them that authentic! There was also a small box of these adorable woodcarvings, they were little trees made completely out of shaved wood. The box had a little paper in it that said Spanbaumgruppe. My German is pretty rusty, but I think it was supposed to be a label. The price is markered out, but I can still make out the euro sign.

Kenshin was in Germany, but why? And why couldn't he just tell me so? This explains why he left his phone. It wouldn't work in Europe. We use a different tower code so an American phone would be essentially useless.

What is going on?

Current Mood: puzzled

Current Music: 'Your Winter' by Sister Hazel

---

An excerpt from 'Kenjutsu Komachi', the On-line Journal of Kaoru Kamiya

_Deleted before posting_

12:10 AM November 15th, 2005

I… he… Kenshin…

**WHAT ARE YOU!**

**---**

An excerpt from 'For Your Eyes Only', the On-line Journal of Kenshin Himura

5:00 PM November 20th, 2005

Where are you?

Kaoru, please… come _home_.

I can only hope you're still reading this.

Everyone is worried about you. We're… no, _I'm_ sorry for keeping this from you. It was my decision. I didn't want you to find out this way. There was no good way to bring it up. I know you're hurt and angry, but believe me. I wanted so badly _to tell you_, but I had no way of knowing how you would take it. When I thought that I could lose you because of… what I am.

I love you.

I meant what I said that night. I will never let anything like that happen to you again. For better or worse you are mine… and I am yours. Anything or anyone that wants to harm you will have to come through me.

This is what I am Kaoru. This is what I was when we were signed up for that damn Blind Date e-mail exchange. I'm still the same person.

Please, come home!

Current Mood: lost

Current Music:

----

End Chapter Three: Blog Dreams

----

_Coming up next…_

**Chapter Four**: The Reports Indicate…

November 21st, 2005

Dear Sir,

As per your instructions I have complied a report detailing the events that transpired between agent Himura and Miss Kamiya.

My investigations have revealed that on the night of November the 14th, Miss Kamiya was accosted by lower-class demon. This demon (known as 'Gohei'. See attached document, p. 5) intended to harm Miss Kamiya as a message of sorts to our organization. Whether or not Gohei acted on orders has not yet been ascertained…

----

_Seiyuu: All right now, there seems to have been some confusion regarding chapter two. Let me make a few points crystalline clear._

_1. Neither Kenshin nor Kaoru count as on-line perverts. This is because they met through a **BLIND DATE E-MAIL EXCHANGE**! You can rest assured that this was controlled and moderated by neutral parties. Originally I was going to have it be an experiment conducted by Grad Students to gauge the success rate of on-line relationships. The pairings weren't random by any means and you can be SURE that the people who entered Kenshin and Kaoru probably cheated. In any event everyone involved would have had to submit to a background check in order to participate due to the nature of the contest._

_2. There will be no graphic sex in this story. Get over it now. I am keeping to my T rating. I will put nothing in this story that you would not find in the Young Adult section at Barnes & Nobles. Yes, Kenshin was talking dirty to Kaoru. By agreeing to keep exchanging e-mails at the beginning of the fic they both implied that they were open to flirtation. This isn't a relationship where one starts as friends. They did need to become comfortable with one another, but do not mistake that for a platonic relationship. Both of them are consenting adults. Please, bear that in mind_.

_3. The point of this story was to capture the essence of a blooming relationship between two characters. To that end I chose a format that cuts out almost everything but their interaction. If you're here for some tawdry reenacting of chat room flirtation with people you barely know, go someplace else. I reiterate these are consenting adults trying to find their way to an adult level relationship and that is NOT a euphemism for sex! When I posted this story I assumed my audience was mature enough to handle that concept. Don't prove me wrong._


	4. The Reports Indicate

_**Mailing List Madness!**_

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-fiction 

By the Dragon's Daughter

**Chapter Four**: The Reports Indicate...

November 21st, 2005

Dear Sir,

As per your instructions I have complied a report detailing the events that transpired between agent Himura and Miss Kamiya.

My investigations have revealed that on the night of November the 14th, Miss Kamiya was accosted by lower-class demon. This demon (known as 'Gohei'. See attached document, p. 5) intended to harm Miss Kamiya as a message of sorts to our organization. Whether or not Gohei acted on orders has not yet been ascertained.

As per standard operating procedures, Agent Himura had arranged for additional protections for Miss Kamiya to supplement the ones already put in place by Agent Makimachi and myself. This upgraded her from a Level 2 associate to Alpha Grade: pending full disclosure. Agent Himura was within range when the attack occurred as responded.

However, at this point full disclosure had not occurred. Miss Kamiya witnessed the ensuing conflict and correctly deduced Agent Himura's true nature as not entirely human. However, before full disclosure could be made Miss Kamiya fled the premises and has not been located since. All agents have been mobilized and we will soon ascertain her location.

Please see the attached dossier for further information concerning Miss Kamiya.

Sincerely,

Aoshi Shinomori

---

November 22nd, 2005

Himura!

I've checked all her usual haunts and no one's seen her. The office at the school where she works actually gave her a month's worth of leave! How she managed that I have no idea, but her principal kind of jumps and looks around nervously when someone mentions her name.

I'm expanding my search area to include some areas she frequented when we were kids. We might make a hit that way. Aoshi-sama is still tracking her bank account and credit cards. She's been really sneaky so far and has only made purchases we can't track very quickly. I hate to admit it, but I think I taught her a little too well. We'll find her sooner or later, but it might be later rather than sooner.

Weaseling out!

M

---

Dear Ken,

I saw Kaoru in the downtown area near Princeton and Maple yesterday. Dr. Genzai told me that her father used to run a dojo in that area and the property is still standing. He said Kaoru planned to re-open it one day when she could complete the renovations. It's a good guess that she might be holed up there. I suggest you move slowly.

I've known Kaoru for years and Dr. Genzai has been her family physician since before she was born. I'm not going to lecture you again about keeping her in the dark. I think we've all heard enough about that.

However, I don't think she only mad at you. I think she feels betrayed by all of us. After all, we all knew and we never brought her in on the secret. Then to have this all dropped in her all at once and by accident? Try to look at this from her point of view. Her world was turned upside down in the space of half an hour. She's questioning everything about her life now. Perhaps you should give her a little space to decide what she wants.

She is still a young woman with tender feelings, no matter how frightening she can be. Let her know you're waiting for her and let her come to you.

-Megumi

---

11/25/05

Okashira,

Kamiya's location has been confirmed in the closed Dojo on Pennilton St. We have photographic evidence of prolonged occupation and she shows no signs of moving location soon.

Awaiting further orders.

-Hannya

---

Himura,

1207 Pennilton St.

It's up to you now.

-Aoshi

----

End Chapter Four: The Reports Indicate…

----

Coming up next… 

**Chapter Five**: Real Time

"I don't know what was worse, when that man started to change or when Kenshin arrived and… and…"

"_You touched what belongs to me. For that **you die**_." Even now the words sounded so strange. Kenshin's voice had changed from the light tenor she'd come to love to a deep resonant baritone. He hadn't spoken above a whisper and yet his voice had filled every nook and cranny of the alley.

Who… no, what was he?

----

_Seiyuu: It's a short chapter today, but this is just a general recap of what happened that night and what it was that Kaoru found out. In case you haven't guessed by now this was inspired by a fic by my lovely beta, JaneDrew, entitled Frozen Moonlight. If you haven't read it then shame on you! Go! Go now!_


	5. Real Time

_**Mailing List Madness!**_

A Rurouni Kenshin Fan-fiction 

By the Dragon's Daughter

**Chapter Five**: Real Time

It was colder than a snowman's butt crack in the Dojo. The hot homemade chai latte helped. Kaoru had a battery-powered teakettle stashed in the Dojo's kitchen, so she had no shortage of hot beverages.

She was –however- short on answers and the temperature wasn't helping her find them any quicker.

The renovations had stopped a long time ago when she'd run low on money. The building was barely up to code, but Kaoru still wasn't making enough to heat it. She kept lights in the place because she was rarely around and the bill was negligent. It was more convenient to have power available in to Dojo for when she did want to go install cabinets or something. At the moment she just wished that she'd gone ahead and installed the furnace when she'd thought about it.

"… but noooo, you wanted to wait until after you'd finished the training hall. Next thing on the Dojo budget is heat and air. God, it's cold…" Kaoru sighed and burrowed into her little nest of accumulated blankets. The futon was leftover from the guest bedroom. Most of the furniture was in the storage shed and the garage, but Kaoru had dragged out a few choice items. It was sort of cozy in her old bedroom, if by 'cozy' you meant 'small and frigid'.

It didn't help that the nightmares were getting so bad that she couldn't bear to close her eyes for fear that she'd see Kenshin standing in that blood drenched alley with his eyes literally burning in the darkness and a sword clenched in one trembling fist as he looked down in disgust at the man he'd murdered… no, 'murder' implied that the thing that had attacked Kaoru was even vaguely human. No, Kenshin had _slaughtered_ that… that…

The ironic thing was that she'd started that day happier than she'd ever been in her entire life.

She could remember the elation in perfect detail. Kenshin had asked her to move in. It made perfect sense. His apartment was so much closer to her High school and he was out of the city so often that it was really asking too much to have Aoshi or Misao to check up on it. Those weren't the reasons he'd given her when he asked, but that was just icing on the cake.

"I want you to be here." He'd told her the night before as they'd lain tangled together on the couch ignoring a movie in favor of one another. "I come here and all I can think is 'How long until Kaoru will visit again?' It isn't home anymore unless you're here with me."

What sane red-blooded heterosexual woman would have said no to that?

The thrill had carried her all through the day and right into the afternoon when she'd nipped by the coffee shop to get something sweet, hot, and caffeinated. That day had been too good for a mere mint hot cocoa and she'd come out of the shop with a _venti_ mocha bearing a triple shot of green mint flavor and a peppermint swizzle stick.

She hadn't expected anyone to pull her off the street and corner her in an alleyway she was positive hadn't existed there before. What had followed… Kaoru shuddered. If the man had been any normal mugger she'd have been able to handle it, but when his face had started to melt…

"I don't know what was worse, when that man started to change or when Kenshin arrived and… and…"

"_You touched what belongs to me. For that **you die**_." Even now, the words sounded so strange. Kenshin's voice had changed from the light tenor she'd come to love to a deep resonant baritone. He hadn't spoken above a whisper and yet his voice had filled every nook and cranny of the alley.

Who… no, what was he?

Kaoru had been training in martial arts her entire life and even she could barely follow his movements as he methodically took the bearded man apart limb from limb with almost surgical precision. Her conscious mind kept insisting that the man had simply exploded because it didn't want to process what had actually happened. Kenshin had slaughtered him… like he knew how.

… like he'd done it before.

… like he did it everyday.

That thought was the one that kept making her brain want to run away screaming, but that wasn't half as frightening as the realization that she still wanted to go into his arms and listen to him tell her it would be all right.

Time went strange after that. The next thing that Kaoru could really remember, she was curled up in the corner of her father's old bedroom, rocking back and forth, and making a high pitched whine in the back of her throat that made her wince to think of even now. That was where she'd been for the past week, trying to compute what exactly had gone on.

'… and my so-called friends.' Kaoru's mouth twisted as though she'd tasted something sour. Of course her immediate reaction was to call Misao and Megumi for moral support only to find out… "They knew. They knew this whole time and they kept it from me." Kaoru hated the bitter little laugh that crawled out of her. "It was all one big joke on Kaoru. They… they… _how could they_?" In retrospect, she should have guessed that Megumi and Misao knew. They worked with him. How could they _not_ know about this?

How foolish of her to assume that they'd been kept in the dark the same way she had.

All at once she wanted to cry again, but she couldn't manage more than a few dry sobs. She'd cried herself out days ago. Now she was only numb… in more ways than one. "I want to go _home_…" She was cold and tired and worn out. Still, deep inside all she wanted was to go home –and home was Kenshin's arms despite everything.

"Then come home."

Kaoru's heart stuttered to a halt in her chest and he gaze snapped up to the man who stood in her bedroom door gripping the frame with a white-knuckled grasp. For a second she almost didn't recognize him. He looked as though he hadn't changed clothes in days. His hair was dull and tangled. She couldn't even begin to guess when he'd last slept, but his eyes were red rimmed and underscored by deep shadows. He took a step forward.

A high thin noise of panic snaked out of Kaoru's throat as she shrunk back and tried to bolt to her feet, but the blankets tangled around her legs and instead she staggered forward. Kenshin flickered and she fell into strong steady arms instead of dusty tatami. Uncontrollable shivers raced through her as he righted her on her feet and jerked her into an embrace so tight that it was _almost _painful.

"Don't…" His breath was warm and harsh against her throat. "Please, dear God, don't run away from me. This is why I couldn't tell you."

Kaoru yelped as he swept her up into his arms. His grip only tightened when she instinctively fought him. "Kenshin, put me down this inst…ant…" Kaoru glared up at him, but instead she found herself transfixed by a pair of otherworldly yellow eyes that fairly glowed in the dim light. No, they _were_ glowing. If she hadn't believed it before, there was no escaping the awful knowledge that was only confirmed by the elongated incisors in his grimace.

"_I will not leave you here_." That deep bass rumble echoed under his voice like a leviathan deep beneath the surface of a placid lake. Kaoru shivered as he turned on his heel and carried her out of her old bedroom and out of the Dojo. Doors opened to let him pass then locked and closed in his wake. Kaoru tried not to watch, but morbid fascination held her in its thrall.

Without speaking, Kenshin placed her in the passenger's seat of his benighted BMW and belted her in. Kaoru let him and didn't even question why the interior of the car was still warm when the engine read stone cold and snowdrifts had piled up against the sides of the car. How long he had been there at the door watching her, listening to her talk to herself…

Kaoru didn't want to think about that anymore than she wanted to know how the snowdrifts vanished before Kenshin started up the car.

The trip was made in complete silence. Kaoru could think of nothing to say that she wanted to discuss with a sleep deprived man while he was driving over patchy ice, although Kenshin seemed to be using that mysterious power of his to change the road conditions to suit him. They pulled up not in front of Kenshin's apartment building, but rather in front of a medium sized house in a picturesque sub-division. Kaoru looked at the building as Kenshin got out. It looked like the sort of house most of her friends had grown up in as children. The trim was green and the siding was white. Lilac bushes lined the front blocking easy access to the windows. Someone kept the lawn in immaculate condition.

Kaoru's first incongruous thought was that someone was going to raise a family in that house.

Kenshin opened her door and didn't wait for her to get out on her own. Instead he unbuckled her and swept her back up into his arms. Without pausing he kicked the car door shut and strode up the icy walk to the front door of that beautiful little house. Kaoru's sharp intake of breath seemed to amuse him as that door opened for him as easily as the doors in the Dojo had…

There was not a great deal of furniture inside. Clearly, this was not an active residence, but Kenshin seemed to know his way around quite well. For instance, he made for the staircase with unerring accuracy. Perhaps she shouldn't have been surprised to hear water already running in the house. The way lights flickered on a few paces ahead of Kenshin was a dead giveaway that he was still using that mysterious power.

Kenshin bypassed a small dark bedroom and went straight for the master suit at the end of the hallway the stairs let out onto. The door swung open for him… in fact, unless it was Kaoru's overactive imagination at work, the doors in this house fairly quivered in anticipation to do Kenshin's will.

The master suite was bare of furniture save a rather unused looking mattress that might still be in its factory wrapping, but Kenshin didn't pause there either. The bathroom was already lit and the large garden style tub almost full when they arrived. Kenshin wasted no time in setting Kaoru on her feet and proceeded to strip her.

"Eek! Kenshin… what are you…HEY!" Kaoru's protests were ignored and her stiff attempts at warding him off were deftly evaded. The next thing she knew she was completely naked and Kenshin dunked her into the steaming water.

The heat hit her like a brick wall. For a long moment all Kaoru could do was clasp the edge of the tub and try to catch her breath. It wasn't much of a surprise when the water level rose with the addition of a second body and Kaoru found herself planted firmly in Kenshin's lap as he massaged her arms and held as much of her in the hot water as he could without drowning her.

Kaoru found she had about just enough energy to lay limp against Kenshin's chest as the heat soaked into portions of her that she worried might never be warm again. How cold had she _been_ anyway? Certainly it couldn't have been that bad. She knew the watch signs for chilblains and hypothermia and she hadn't been suffering from either. 'I was only uncomfortable. There was nothing dangerous going on…' Kaoru closed her eyes as Kenshin's hands slid up and down her back. She wanted so badly to just be able to just give into this feeling and let the questions rest, but she couldn't ignore what had happened… no matter how much she wanted to pretend that things were just like they'd been before.

"Kenshin…?" Oh, how she hated that weak little quiver in her voice. She sounded like the doe-eyed heroine in a lurid book. She was a strong modern woman, for God's sake! Never mind that the way Kenshin's hand seized on her when she spoke and then deliberately relaxed made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. "I…what… I don't even know where to begin…"

"It's all right." Kenshin's breath caressed her ear and tickled her cheek. His breath came out in a slow rattling exhalation. "You're here. We're home. It's going to be all right. We can talk the rest out now. I've got you back."

Kenshin had her sort of spooned against his chest with his legs flanking her on either side as he held her with both arms around her waist. Kaoru wiggled around so that she could pillow her cheek on his chest and return that embrace. She tucked her legs up so that Kenshin could relax into a sort of Indian position. It was more comfortable than she'd expected. "What are you?" The question came out more easily than she thought it would.

Kenshin buried his nose and mouth in her hair and stayed that way for a long while, just breathing her in. "I'm a demon." He said finally. "That's oversimplifying it, but your people's concept of 'demon' was based loosely on what I am. I was created originally to police my own kind, an enforcer if you will. Then as a punishment I was banished to the human world and granted free will."

"That's a _punishment_?" Kaoru was incredulous. How was free will something to be endured?

A rusty grinding laugh was Kenshin's reply. Softly, he kissed her throat. "I understand how you can't believe that, but consider for a second living a life where there is no uncertainty, no doubt. Imagine knowing your precise function and place in the world, no floundering for some kind of purpose…to have that higher mission." He shook his head. "It was my slave collar, but it was a light one and it did not chafe. To be deprived of it nearly drove me mad."

Kaoru lifted her face from his chest and looked into Kenshin's troubled and tired gaze. His eyes were still the same shade as fine old amber. She caressed his smooth cheek and reflected that this was just one more sign of what he was not. Kenshin didn't need to shave because he was not truly human, or at least she assumed so. She couldn't imagine him taking the time to shave when he clearly hadn't bathed or slept in so long. He just appeared that way. "What did you do?" She asked.

Kenshin's fingers laced into the fine hair at the nap of Kaoru's neck and knotted into it. "I failed a task given to me by my master. He ordered that I should kill an Elder Creature." His mouth twisted. "The Elder amused himself with me for a while and then sent me back to my master with a message. As punishment for my failure I was expelled from Hell and sent here. I am less now and more in some ways. Some say I am a different creature. I'm not sure… but I do know that I had no real desire for anything until the day we met. I wasn't made to want, but still… I want you." His hands cupped her face. "You are everything I've never dared dream of. When you… when we…"

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Kaoru tried to keep the petulance out of her voice, but she was just too hurt. Damn it, she deserved a good whine after this! "It seems like everyone knew except me: Misao, Megumi, Sano, Aoshi… why was it so hard to let me in on this great big secret? Wasn't it more of a danger that I'd blindly stumble across the truth because everyone I know is involved in it? No, wait… that's exactly what happened!"

"It wasn't that simple. The decision was not mine alone to make." Kenshin caught her hand and lightly nibbled on her fingertips. The sensation of fangs prickling against her skin was not in fact unpleasant… just unfamiliar. "Kaoru, there are no half measures in this. If you know about me, then you must know about everything, and I couldn't make that decision for others. There had to be a consensus before you were brought into it. As it turns out, Gohei made the choice for us. I know you won't believe this, but I truly was going to tell you. I'd gotten clearance and you were approved for additional security. It was just… damn it all, this isn't the sort of thing one brings up in casual conversation!"

He would be logical.

"Why can't I stay angry with you?" Kaoru slumped in his arms and ignored the slow chuckle that rippled through Kenshin's chest. His arms tightened around her and he pressed a kiss to her temple.

"That would be because you love me too much." He suggested lightly… maybe even hopefully?

Kaoru sighed and snuggled back up against him. The water was making her sleepy, but she didn't want to fall asleep in this house. The bed didn't look terribly inviting. They still had to drive back to the apartment. Later she'd ask Kenshin some very pointed questions about the existence of this place and its intended purpose, but she suspected that she already knew.

There were still so many questions to be addressed. God knew she still owed her 'friends' a reaming, but here and now? She had Kenshin and that was enough.

Kenshin was watching her with a carefully neutral expression as she smiled up at him. "You're probably right." She admitted. "Don't push it, though."

His smile was a beautiful thing to see. "I won't." He promised.

"Good." Kaoru echoed his smile as he dipped his head in for a kiss.

fin

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End Mailing List Madness

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_Seiyuu: Here it is! This is the fifth and final chapter of Mailing List Madness. Everyone thank the lovely Ariane for betaing this so quickly! Really, I am impressed!_


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